As Richard Bach, the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull said, “If you argue for your limitations, they are yours.”
Nothing could be closer to the truth. Before you can begin to create the life you want, you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.Follow @cindy_locher
Here are some ideas to get you started:
1. Stop giving away your power. This should be first and last on this list. So many people want to abdicate their own throne. You hear it in phrases like, “I’ll be happy when….” The “when” is always something outside of the person’s direct control: when my spouse is nicer, when my boss starts treating me well, when my investments turn around, when I win the lottery, etc. This is the death-nell for your happiness and success. Start seeing yourself as the ultimate creator and cause in your life. Because you are, whether you realize it or not!
2. Stop lying to yourself. You can try, but it really doesn’t work. Even if on some level you accept your lie or your story, there is a part of you that knows that it’s a lie. And that you can be more, do more, have more. If that wasn’t true, you wouldn’t be feeling the frustration.
3. Stop trying to hold onto the past. It’s like Feng Shui for the mind — you must clear out the old to make room for the new. Don’t live with ghosts of past events and people. Open your eyes to what is happening today. Or else your life will pass you by. (Try some hypnosis! Live in the Present Moment)
4. Stop putting yourself last on your list. I’ve been in the role of a caregiver, and of a spouse of an alcoholic. I can tell you from my personal experience that putting myself last in those situations didn’t help anyone. When I started putting myself first, things improved not only for me but for those around me. It’s not a cliche, self-care is not selfish.
5. Stop trying to be someone that you’re not. Listen, there’s no one better at being you than you. And YOU are just right, just as you are. When people are comfortable with themselves, other people are comfortable around them. And you CAN learn self-acceptance. As with everything else, it starts with a single step. Just be yourself and then the people who love you, will really love YOU.
6. Stop waiting for things to be just right to enjoy your life. Don’t put off happiness until “someday.” Imagine what that happiness feels like and start doing the things today that you imagine doing in that future. You might just surprise yourself that your life is pretty good right now—if you choose to make it so!
7. Stop worrying about so many things all the time. Do you crave a simpler life? There’s such a movement now toward simplifying life. Where do you think that begins? As with everything else, it starts in your mind. (Try this meditation session to train your mind to focus on just the few things that really matter and experience a more manageable feeling world.)
8. Stop playing it safe. Look around at the really successful people in this world. None of them got there by playing it small and playing it safe. One of my mentors used to say, “go out on the branch until you hear the branch creaking.” You have to stretch yourself to grow! It is a neurological fact that we learn more from our failures than from when things just go well and easy. Don’t shy away from life’s best school.
9. Stop looking for short cuts. One of my other mentors in life used to say “there are no short cuts.” It’s true. Short cuts only come with compromises and a quality life that truly offers something to others does not compromise. Oh, believe me, I’ve looked for the short cuts too. Lesson learned — they are an illusion, and ultimately, a time trap that slows you down.
10. Stop spending time with the wrong people. Life is too short to surround yourself with Negative Nellies, or waiting, hoping, wishing and praying to be loved/liked/accepted by a person or a group. If you feel like you have to work at being accepted or liked, walk away. Be yourself, find the people who truly like you for you, and you’ll be ahead of the crowd in your experience of true happiness.
11. Stop focusing on what you don’t want. This is so totally human nature. And if you understand how the subconscious mind processes thought and language, you realize that focusing on what you don’t want just keeps that coming to you in your life. Determine what you DO want (it’s usually the opposite of what you don’t want) and start using positive language to train your brain to begin seeing those positives where they exist so that you can begin bringing more of that into your life!
12. Stop trying to compete with others. Competition is one of those things that is only as real as the energy you feed into it. Whatever you do or create, no one does it exactly like you. Your personality draws a particular set of people to you. Become comfortable with who you are and be bold in stepping out and letting people know you and what you do. Find (or create) your own tribe, and the word “competition” will become meaningless to you.
13. Stop being jealous of others. This of course goes right along with stop trying to compete with others. At the root of all of these behaviors is a self worth/self esteem question. The world trains us to question our value. Begin to recognize that as a false message! The truly successful people in the world know that it’s a false and damaging message (successful in whatever way they measure success — it’s not always about wealth!). Begin to walk in the truth — what you offer to the world is unique and valuable. The only person you’re in competition with is yourself — the ongoing competition to improve and reach deeper and deeper into your potential!
14. Stop being afraid. There are a couple of bloggers out there who have done fear challenges and discovered that they not only could do the things they were afraid of but that moving through those fears made them stronger, bolder, more able to take risks and ultimately more successful and appreciative of themselves. What are you afraid of? Create your own “fear challenge” and move through the fear. (Hypnosis can help too!) Remember, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself!” Very true! The fear is almost always much worse than the reality. As a fear challenge I flew on a professional trapeze rig. Up there for the first time, standing on that tiny board with my weight committed out over the rig, I wanted to back out so badly! But then I FLEW! And it was amazing! I felt so free, so graceful and the net was so soft when I let go. So then I did it again and again and what had held fear for me, ended up holding excitement and fun! If I hadn’t taken the risk I would never have known. So, let go of your fear and FLY!
Don’t just read this article and forget about it! Pick the one, two or three that are most important in your life and TAKE ACTION! Do some journaling, plan some changes, take back the power in your life and create something amazing for yourself! After all, YOLO!