Can You Develop Self Acceptance?
Monica saved all year for her fabulous vacation. She bought a new two piece bathing suit, a change from her usual one piece. A whole week at the beach, she couldn’t wait. She slipped into the new suit, grabbed her beach bag, and hit the sand. As she shed her cover up, she danced with joy. Bright sun, clear blue skies, the gentle hum of waves caressing the shore, a cooling breeze, a great book, and nothing but relaxing. She lay on her towel with a huge smile.
Sometime after the third chapter she vaguely noticed a group of young women near her. A couple of the girls pointed at her. Monica smiled back, thinking they laughed at something behind her or even perhaps the book she held.
Yet the giggles and pointing continued. Monica looked down. She had extra pounds and her tummy wasn’t super model flat, but why the laughter? Only when she started to compare her body to the girls’ did she understand. She felt like a beached whale next to them in their thongs and ultra thin forms. No wonder they were laughing. At her.
Monica pulled her cover up back over her head. She tried to concentrate on her book, but the joy in the day was ruined. She packed up, went back to her room, and stared at old movies on tv. When she went returned to the beach, she wore baggy t shirts and shorts. She made a vow to lose weight before she ever wore another bathing suit in public. Her dream vacation had become a sad nightmare.
Haven’t we all felt this way at one time or another? That our body, face, or even our personalities aren’t as ‘good’ as some stranger’s? What’s the solution to developing self acceptance? Can it be done? How?
Self Acceptance is Recognizing You for You
This is the most important thing. It’s like making that first step into a crowded room where you don’t see anyone familiar. Recognizing the wonderful person you are is more than just saying, “I’m okay with me” although that’s a good start. It’s believing you are. Every day, stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes, and say, “I’m going to be the best me I can be.” It will feel silly, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes. Even better, the more your brain will believe it. I laughed so much when I started this. Now I start each day with a smile.
Understand the Difference in ‘Real’ and ‘Photo Shopped’
Most models will tell you what you see in magazines isn’t the ‘real’ them. Anyone can look different with makeup, lighting, even ‘erased’ pounds and skin. Get out of the mind set of looking just like that Victoria’s Secret model. Even she doesn’t look like that! Those awesome designer cakes may be gorgeous in the front and void of decoration in the back. It’s all a mirage. Will losing weight really make you happy? Or will being able to dance for hours? Will having electric blue eyes make you love yourself? Will having a higher position at work cause you joy or headaches? Make a set real image in your mind what you want and aim for it. The key is ‘real’. What do you truly want? What makes you come alive? No one can answer besides you. No one but you will make it happen.
Know Nothing Comes Free
Ever heard the saying, “If you buy a diamond ring for ten cents you have a diamond ring not worth a dime?” Never believe ads promising ‘tight thighs with no exercise or dieting!’ Nothing comes free. If you want tighter thighs, buns, or tummy, exercise. Yes, exercise is a bad word to some. It was to me. It sounds way too similar to ‘extra fries’. Exercise is more than treadmills and sweating. It’s dance class, spin class, tap lessons, swimming, playing basketball, a whole range of things that get your body moving. You may even love releasing the day’s stress shaking your booty to high energy music, going for a long walk, or making the winning basket. Find what you love and do it. Come alive.
Love Yourself for You
Ever try to walk across heated beach sand bare foot? This is the ‘no’ I mentioned earlier. No one can make you love you. Every person on earth has good and bad points. It seems easier to focus on the bad. Flip it. You have amazing green eyes. You’re a whiz at history dates. You always make the work coffee. These sound little, but like a pebble in a lake, the ripples cause others to smile and the day better. Make a list of five things where you excel. Start simple as you dig deep into what makes you unique. My first list was:
1. Sometimes I make people laugh.
2. I make banana pudding everyone begs to eat.
3. I have tremendous patience.
4. I don’t fall down all the time when I skate.
5. I wear the same shoe size I did 10 years ago.
Comparisons are a No-No
It’s human nature to compare. “My hair never looks as great.” “My nose is bigger.” “Why did he get my promotion?” Remember #1. You are You. There isn’t another you on the planet. So what if the girls near Monica had tighter abs? She wasn’t there to compare bodies. She was there to vacation. Did Marv receive your promotion because he put together a bang up slide show or stayed late to finish a project? You have a talent for music. Next training, add fun music to illustrate points. Let your star shine. Wanting to be someone else wastes the person you are.
Self acceptance doesn’t happen overnight. Think of building your dream house. The foundation is first, then the walls, then the roof. Positive attracts positive. Negative happens, so each day add one more positive to your list. Surprise yourself with all the good things you have no one else does.
Monica is hitting the beach again in her two piece. She didn’t change physically. She changed her outlook. “I’m confident in me. What others think doesn’t matter. I’m going to have a blast!”
A star never sees how bright it shines. It’s still a star.
Your feelings of self acceptance are rooted in your subconscious mind. You CAN change the programs running there. Check out our Self Acceptance hypnosis audio.